photo (10)I find the different stages in married life and even relationship life quite interesting.

If I were to go to Walmart this day, right now, February 14, 2013 at 11:31 am  and just stand around by anything pink and red, I would receive quite an education on what we think are relationships.

I would surmise that any number of teenage boys would be rushing in today,  after school to pay $3 for a piece of folded over poster board that was screen printed; and on the way out they would scoop up the largest Teddy Bear ($14.99) they could find along with a box of chocolates($6.99) shaped like a heart and a single, long-stemmed red rose($5.99) in hopes of getting lucky tonight. Can we just be honest even though its unfortunate? ($30.97 + tax) That’s a cheap date.

The plight or our world concerns me when our young people look at “love” in this way.

So I was at Walmart a few weeks back…

I’m there buying this huge card just for the fun of it.

Sidebar: Aren’t Valentine’s Day cards really gauche? I mean really, does anyone actually think that pink and red go together? The couple silhouetted against the Hawaiian sunset with their foreheads touching, David Beckham with his shirt off wanting to be your Valentine? Teddy Bears getting snugly? Two puppies holding cardboard red hearts in their mouths?  But I digress…

I knew that it was a BIG card but I liked the BIG card. I didn’t go in with the thought of buying it but I thought it funny. I thought it cute. I thought it apropos to buy a BIG one for all the years we’ve been married.

And I was after something.

I saw, I had an idea, I bought.

I bought one that was mostly white inside instead of the red or pink, nothing wrong with them, but I needed lots of white space inside to write. And I DID write. And I wrote and I wrote.  My thoughts, my memories, my love, my heart.

photo (11)


I have seen 31 Valentine’s Days come and go with Jeanie, through multiple stages: Acrylic disks with the word LOVE on them and stuffed cute things and lingerie and cards and hand written letters and typed letters and flowers and candy and chocolates and movie passes and coupons to clean the house and jewelry and dinner out and dinner in and DVD’s and sitting by candlelight, moonlight and bright light.

And one thing I have found out, guys, those things are nice and very needed, don’t forget them, but: All a woman really wants is to be loved.

It is most important. They want to feel safe and they want to feel loved. And most of all, they want to feel safe in your love.

We live in a world bombarded by infidelity. Nearly every commercial we see, nearly every TV show or piece of music we listen to; we are encouraged to do what feels good to ME no matter how it affects anyone else. What happened to our instruction to LOVE ONE ANOTHER EVEN MORE THAN YOURSELF? It’s very easy in our world to forget that.

Those of you that have children remember: The greatest thing that you can do for your children is to love their mother. And the second is like it: The greatest thing you can do for your self is to love your wife. It’s reciprocal, it comes back to you.

Sometimes, through nearly 32 years of marriage I have let that tidbit slip past me. Not intentional, just neglectful.

The Bible says to love your wife like Christ loved the church and gave himself for it.

On this Valentine’s Day, don’t forget to give yourself FOR your wife, not just TO her, but FOR her.

Do a little extra, grab a mop, swab a dish, change a diaper; love her. Even if you don’t feel like you have a lot to give, you still have A LOT TO GIVE. 🙂

I guarantee you will reap the rewards.

I love you my Jeanie, not just publicly, but in my heart of hearts and always.

I would die for you, but more importantly, I will live for you.




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